Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 8^th, may be a tough holiday for mothers of kids with cancer. It is likely another day of the same constant fears passed without notice or fanfare. Moms and wives of cancer patients conquer daily challenges with superhuman strength, but they need rest and care just like the rest of us. Mother’s Day is an excellent opportunity to recognize mothers and their daily sacrifices for their families. Think about the mothers in your life who are devoting their days to caring for their sick children. Here are some celebration ideas for moms of cancer kids.

If you are wondering what you can do to celebrate or ease a mother’s burden in your life on Mother’s Day, first, listen to and study the mothers you wish to honor. It might not be best to ask them what they want. This puts the burden of planning on them and requires them to ask something of you—something that might be difficult for moms who feel they must conquer every challenge alone. 

Instead, consider what you have heard them talk about. Study their routine and daily challenges. Last year, the Center for Global Development reported that women took on 173 additional hours of unpaid child care, about three times as many hours as men. Consider if they are in physical pain from stress and need an hour to do yoga or a gift card for a massage. Do they need respite? Are they exhausted figuring out how to get dinner on the table each night? If you’re listening and watching, it won’t be difficult to find a way to help. If you have a mom with a child battling cancer in your life, consider these ideas for how to make their Mother’s Day extra special.

Make Time for Mom

Make a plan for the mom to spend time with their kids that does not include caregiving or other home chores. When one child is battling cancer, parents tend to devote all their time and energy to supporting that child and their care. The other children are also living through a world-shattering event, but it can be impossible for a parent to make as much space for them as they deserve. No parent wants to prioritize one child over another, but the immediate, all-encompassing needs of cancer treatment cannot be minimized. 

Here are some ideas to honor mom on Mother’s Day

• Decorate your mom’s door or give flowers!
• Watch a movie or show together, side by side.
• Get creative: Make mom a video, a music playlist, or a piece of art!
• Do a tea party outside or take a short trip to a tea house!
• Make a homemade gift; craft a wreath!
• Travel virtually to a museum or tour the world’s prettiest garden if you can’t get out!
• Give her a manicure and pedicure either at home or at a salon
• Make Mother’s Day cards with the kids
• Make breakfast in bed
• Help tackle her “to do” list
• Give her a hand and foot massage with moisturizer
• Go to a flower shop or the mart and make an arrangement

Make sure that all mom has to do is show up.

Also, you can give mom time to spend with their spouse, siblings, or friends. Because of cancer treatment’s complex and life-altering nature, spouses can neglect each other or pull away from other vital relationships. Every person, super-mom or not, needs support, and creating time to connect with her loved ones can be the greatest gift. If you can plan a gathering, whether it’s a day away or just a nice meal together, you can reduce their burden and allow mom to enjoy the day.

Help Her Feel Her Best

If you have the means, paying for a mother to get her hair done or buy a new outfit she’s had her eye on can be a great way to show you care. If she likes having her nails done, maybe accompany her to a manicure! Most moms of sick kids neglect seemingly superficial things like clothes and haircuts. But feeling bad about how you look can be a silent weight that adds to the already enormous volume of pain faced by mothers with sick children.

Clothes and hair cuts are just two ways to help mothers feel better about themselves. Even something small like a nice moisturizer or a decoration for their home can be something that she continues to use or look at for weeks, reminding her of your gesture of love and taking a moment to care for herself.

Give Her Space to Accept Gifts

If mom doesn’t have time to accept a little pampering right now, be ready to provide a rain check. For some, even a day of self-care can feel like an unnecessary burden in a time of crisis. Try to arrange something flexible, and make sure to allow space for the mother to make the best choice for herself.

If you want to make a kind gesture but know there is no time for celebration in your loved one’s life this May, donate to a cause that’s meaningful to them. Give them the gift of knowing that someone else’s life will be improved because of them. If your loved one has a sick child, or if you just want to support all mothers with kids fighting cancer, consider giving to Here to Serve, an organization that cares for families who have a child or parent of young children fighting cancer. 

Here to Serve provides wraparound services to support families on their cancer journey, including organizing online Care Communities that can provide meals, take care of household tasks, provide child care, and help with holiday celebrations. In addition, here to Serve maintains a robust database of resources to help families connect with organizations that can help. Consider giving a gift to mothers in the most challenging time of their lives by donating today.

By Kelly Markus

About the Author

Kelly Markus studied Film and Television and has spent time on sets in Los Angeles. Originally from the East Coast, she has moved back home. Since 2020, she has decided to refocus on writing. Having seen loved ones battle cancer, blogging for Here To Serve is close to her heart.

All information on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only. Always consult a medical provider in your particular area of need before making significant changes in your medical decisions or lifestyle.