By Emily Rogalin, Healthcare Copywriter

Cancer dad. It’s a title that no one wants or knows what to do with. But, with Fathers Day just around the corner on June 16th, it’s time to recognize and uplift these dads, who are often unsung heroes for families enduring pediatric cancer. In this blog we provide some ideas for meaningful ways to celebrate dads facing pediatric cancer.  While moms usually take on most of the caregiving responsibility, dads are often left with caregiving on top of working to provide for basic living and healthcare expenses. For up to 92% of affected parents, financial distress begins within six months of diagnosis and continues throughout the cancer journey. 

The unseen struggles 

Studies show that the stress of adequately providing for their family can lead dads to embarrassment and humiliation, fear, persistent thoughts and anxiety about money, reduced joy, feeling like they don’t deserve to express their needs, and feeling vulnerable to repeated financial stressors. 

It’s known that societal and cultural pressures often lead men to limit showing their emotions and asking for help. Dads often hide away their hurt, or do it in private where no one will see. Most of the time, they feel like they’re just holding on and doing the best they can. There’s so much hidden beneath the surface for all of us, but it is tenfold for cancer dads.  

The unseen sacrifices 

With the pressure to provide, dads are doing whatever it takes to ensure that their child can get care. They put off their own health, reallocate savings for their retirement and children’s education, adjust careers, sell personal items, and work–just to name a few. 

Seeing and Celebrating Cancer Dads 

Father’s Day can come with a range of emotions for dads. They can experience everything from gratitude to love to anger–and all of those reactions are completely valid. They didn’t get the easiest hand when it comes to being a dad and have been forced to uphold a heroic level of fatherhood. Here are a few meaningful ways to celebrate dads of children with cancer this Father’s Day:  

• Share the love. Send a hand-written letter or text to help dad feel loved on Father’s Day. Going beyond the generic “Happy Father’s Day, hope you have a great day” can really go a long way and help dad feel loved and appreciated. You can capture things you admire about him, recount a cherished memory, or write about the ways he is an amazing father.  

If you’re together in person, you can create a fun experience for him and the family, like a game night, movie night, or planning an activity for him and their child.  

It’s also easy to show your appreciation and love to dad digitally. Consider sending him an online video message, or send a food delivery of his favorite drinks or snacks.  

• Help them reflect. With so much worry about tomorrow, it may be difficult for dads to focus on the present moment, or be proud of the past. Help shine a light on their strength and encourage them to reflect on all they’ve done to get to today.  
• Give him the gift of time. Cancer dads often give up their hobbies or activities because their time is taken up by work and caregiving. What used to bring him joy that he no longer does? Maybe it’s an afternoon on a golf course, going for a hike, or maybe it’s just grabbing a beer at his favorite local spot. You can also give him a subscription box for his favorite hobby, like coffee, grilling, or reading. 
  
• Have the kids create something for him, like:  
  • A handmade card. Something as simple as a homemade Father’s Day card or drawing could be the small thing that makes his day.  
  • A shadowbox. Dad’s have a legacy, even new dads. Have the children make a shadow box and fill it with mementos, photos of great memories, including his dad and grandfather. Add meaningful things, maybe a shell from a beach you visited with him or a rock you painted or something that has meaning between your dad and you. Give him some nostalgia. 
  • Makeover a children’s book. Find a children’s book with pictures but not many words. Use the pictures to share a story that brings back a memory of dad and their child. Handwrite your memory on that page. Tell him how important he is to you and what you have learned from him. 
• Get friends and family involved. If you know a cancer dad, gifts and support from friends and family can be a powerful way to show support on Father’s Day. If you think dad would appreciate it, you could organize friends and family to do a yard cheer where they bring signs of positive Father’s Day messages. You could also offer to help with childcare or household chores, or anything you think would help give dad more precious moments back with their child. 

We recognize that this won’t be a typical Father’s Day for many cancer dads, and it may be hard to celebrate for some. No matter how dad is feeling on Father’s Day, small gestures of love and support can be meaningful.   

Helping dads at Here to serve  

Here to Serve helps lift the burden for dads going through the cancer journey through wraparound services. We envision one place to go for physical, financial, emotional help and resources, so there’s less to worry about. In addition to providing financial assistance, we can help alleviate the responsibilities of things like errands, childcare, yardwork, and more. Families can also receive extra support from a Family Care Coordinator and receive additional resource referrals. If you or someone you know is battling cancer while raising children or has a child battling cancer tell them there is organized and life-saving help. They only need to reach out to Here to Serve and GET HELP! 

We know that time is precious. Here to Serve strives to give more of it back to dads so they can have more time with the ones whomatter most–family.  

Happy Father’s Day to all of the amazing dads out there going through this journey. We’re here for you.  

All information on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only. Always consult a medical provider in your particular area of need before making significant changes in your medical decisions or lifestyle.